Back from a long hiatus

So I've finally decided to come back after a long hiatus. Wow, it's been more than 5 months! So many things have happened. I will do my usual blogging about the cycling rides and about other things in life.

Last Saturday we (yep, now it's 'we' not 'I' anymore) joined the PV ride. I have done this ride twice in the past. The first time, I was feeling great and thought, this isn't so fast, when the pace suddenly increased and I got dropped. Later I found out the pace that I loved was in fact a warm-up...The last time, I got slingshotted a couple miles after the acceleration. This time, I hang on, it was surprising. There was this older woman who was crazy, dashing from side to side trying to hang on. She turned to say let's go catch them with a huge snot hanging out and blowing in the wind. I spent a considerable amount of energy dodging said snot. I hang on for about 15 min and almost made it to Alpine. Pretty proud of myself - I think it's the rollers at home which makes me 'fast' on flats.

The following day, we rode with m's club. The club people are mostly boring except for an old guy. He is the only person and guy who has ever told me to pull him after we got dropped by the group. It was the ride which I met m and was my recovery ride after lots of climbing the previous day. Now 5 months later, I doubt he would ask me to pull since I will be in the front group. As we were riding with the club m and I decided to split off to lose some weight before climbing OLH. Then as we were making our way to OLH, a peloton passed us and we jumped on their wheels. They looked fast (from their leg muscles). There was this guy who was riding oddly by the side, upon close examination (shouldn't have done that), he was peeing while cycling...seriously?! It's not like this is the TDF. Coincidently, this group also went to climb OLH, m went to the front to race with them while I rode at my own pace. I felt like I was flying up the mountains. I passed everyone including a few people from m's club who started the climb before us. I finished at 26 min 24 sec, 50 secs off from my PR - not bad :) I think this is due to the fact that my weight is finally down to 58 kg. It's odd, but, I have proven the dangers of having carbs at night. The last couple of weeks, I decided to not have carbs at night unless there is a ride the next morning, my weight plummeted so quickly. Also, I realized that I need to do proper warm ups. I don't mean just a warm up at 70% max heart rate, but one where my heart rate has maxed out. This is because when my heart rate went over 180 (due to doing the PV ride), climbing the mountains was so much easier, and I could go at the same or faster speed at a lower heart rate. I suppose my body is just lazy. It's still half asleep when I do normal cycling, only when my heart rate goes over 180, does it decide to wake up and cooperate.

The ride was great and we decided to go home quickly, so we begin descending La Honda. I've done this many times before. Although there are some traffic here, the road is very winding so cyclists go at pretty much the same speed as cars. I often look back to see if there are cars coming. This time, there was a cyclist behind me descending at the same pace. Soon he yelled 'car back'. I yelled 'car back' to m who was in front. The car looked to be driving dangerously so I yelled 'car back' to m again. It looked like the car will run over him anytime. The next thing I knew, the car was right in front me with brake lights on. He was making a turn and cut into the right border. There was no place for me to go and I had to brake hard. The wheel slipped under me and I crashed hard onto the ground. When I came around, I was lying on the ground with shoes still attached to the pedals (new speedplays). The cyclist who was behind me stopped and helped to remove my feet from the pedals and dragged me to the side of the road. He asked if I have flexibility in my arm and how was my head. My arm felt fine, head hurt a bit. I took off my helmet and was astounded to find that the helmet had cracked through.

It was odd, the scary part of the crash was not during the crash itself, but was in assessing the damages. I looked at my arm, my waist, and saw blood, and thought, oh man...not again. The old scars haven't completely gone away and already new ones will come :( Surprisingly, there was no blood from my legs, I think it's due to the restriction from the pedals, although there must have been a lot of banging around cos my right knee is now bruised all over.

For some reason, I have always wanted to use the expression 'stuck between a rock and a hard place'. I suppose this is a good opportunity to use it. In here, the rock is the truck and the hard place is the ground. Considering everything, it would have been worse if I had crashed into the truck - that would have sent me flying. I have always dreamt of flying, but not in this way.

I'm sure the crash must have looked horrendous. I wish I could have seen it for myself. The cyclist who helped me was certain that I broke something, when I didn't, he concluded that young folks don't break anything. After sitting around, pondering about my bad luck and fantasizing about punching the driver, I thought I'd better stand up cos I didn't want m to see me laying on the ground. As soon as I did, m came and was very worried. I was quite embarrassed to always crash. M asked how I am and wanted to call an ambulance. It would be interesting to go on an ambulance ride, but not if I have to pay hundreds of dollars for it especially since I felt fine. Any pain or headache must have been masked by the anger.

We rode back to the car. I think I have been jinxed by some cycling merchandise that I got for free. In the last crash, I was wearing the free knee warmers. In this crash, I brought along the free arm warmers. Logically, I decided to throw away the arm warmers. M said maybe other cyclists would want them and perhaps those would be lucky for them. So we hang them on a tree like a christmas present and drove away. After getting cleaned up (this time I didn't have to use hydrogen peroxide phew!), we went to the ER to get me checked up. My head was feeling increasingly dizzy and headachy. The ER doc did some simple checks and concluded that everything looks fine, but that when I sleep that night, every 2 hours, I should have someone to wake me up...that was comforting to know.

My headache got worse over the next few days. And I wasn't able to go to work. My boss is really nice and said that my health is the priority, and to only go back when I am 100% better. I was super bored at home. Typically I get headaches from not going outside or from watching TV during the day or from general laziness. So I tried to go to work to see if the headache would get better - that didn't happen. As the week progressed, I was getting increasingly worried, so I saw another doctor. He also thought that everything is fine but I asked him to order a scan. And convinced him to get a MRI rather than a CT. The next day I went to take the MRI scan. It was a Friday afternoon, and the doctor will not get back to me with the result until the following week. But I got the images on a CD for myself. Looking at them, I was convinced that I see bleeding (darker regions than other areas) and swelling (unsymmetrical brain). So I called the hospital, jumped through the hoops - an operator and a nurse - reached an ER doc who looked at the images and said it's normal. Of course, I didn't really believe him because he was likely busy and only looked at it briefly. I never take chances when it comes to my health, so I went into the hospital the next day to see a doctor in person. Conclusion: MRI looks fine, the brain takes time to equilibrate after the big shock hence the headaches.

9 days later, I feel much better, almost back to normal. This experience has been a setback in terms of my health, training and work - all because of someone else's recklessness. But of course, I always try to see the good in things and what I can learn for the next time (yes, yes, so cliche). The take home message here is that contrary to popular belief, it is probably safer to take the whole lane when descending winding roads and only allow cars to overtake when it's safe. If there were any happy memories from this experience, it was having m taking care of me....having him with me on every hospital visit, seeing him cook for me while I rest, it just makes me visualize our future together with extra clarity, certainty and longingness :) LG, lifes good.

Recent Happenings

I started work a couple of weeks ago, I was surprised at how nice and welcoming everyone was. My boss actually sent out an email to everyone to introduce me and asked them to welcome me. So people already knew which school I was from, that I like cycling and where I live. My first paycheck was pretty nice, although the bonus was heavily taxed, by heavily, I mean 50%! There are coffee machines (with tonnes of flavors to choose from, although I don't drink coffee) and filtered water (something we never had back whence). There is a vending machine that has quite nice snacks for only a quarter (because the company subsidizes them). The work hours are nice too. I normally come in at 8.30 and leave a little after 5 - longer than most people at the company! We have breakfast brought in every Friday, and every second Wednesday we have lunch brought in. All in all, a quite nice environment to be in. Equally important, the project that I am working on is quite interesting. Although of course, I have to work on things that are not 'mine', which is totally fine. In grad school, you are supposed to work on your thesis, however, I spent perhaps 25% of the time working on my advisors pet projects. Now that I am at work, whatever I do, directly goes back to the company.

One afternoon, a colleague and I started talking about cycling. He used to ride quite a lot but haven't been doing much lately. I suggested to ride together sometimes. There was no response from him, which was rather weird, so I walked away. Moments later, I get an email from him saying that he wanted to ride with me....So the following day we rode with a club. He is a body builder, who has too much mass on the upper body. He does have legs, but absolutely no endurance. So we got dropped at maybe a third of the ride. He kept on apologizing and asked me to give him another chance, that he would do this and that to improve and be better for the following Saturday. So last Saturday we rode with the club again. We did a 60 miles ride with plenty of climbing. He was actually not bad and was faster than me on the climbs (must be all the muscles). However, he bonked and had to ask others for food because 'he was going to faint', we then had to stop for a meal, and then he cramped. He said that he must be the most problematic person I have rode with - I couldn't have agreed more. Yet I can honestly say that I don't mind the trouble, however, he complained constantly, saying how he couldn't make it, that he's going to give out and had to let every living thing know that he was struggling....seriously!? Man up. As well, he is, how should I put this, quite dumb. He called himself retarded and that he doesn't like to use his brain.

The following day, I was supposed to do a recovery ride. So I found another club to ride with. The recovery ride turned out to be a 40 miles ride with some climbing. I met a quite eccentric guy during the ride who has a handlebar moustache, grew up in China because his parents were missionaries, has a huge tattoo on his arm, used to smoke and has a phd in English literature. Given how different he is, I was surprised to find that we actually have a lot in common. And during his spare time, he likes to read and learn new things. So that day, I rode with a guy who wanted to better himself, and the day before, I rode with a guy who lifted weights and didn't want to tire his brain....you can see who I enjoy talking to more. Anyways, this moustache guy (sorry, the moustache was just too distractive) wanted to have dinner...when I heard him say that, my heart just sunk - I'm just not cut for this dating thing. There is so much expectations etc. Why can't people just go out as friends and see where that leads? That way, you can actually learn about the other person in a more genuine way. Anyways, we will ride and have lunch instead. Let's see where this leads. Based on past experiences, the chances of things working out is low, but he is a nice and intriguing guy, so I would like to get to know him as a friend and perhaps something more.

Ok, so tired now, it's probably because nowadays, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday I get up at 5 am or before to go to cycling gym with my new coach. He has rollers there that the students use. And he has 2 rules. First, no questions. Second, no complaining. The second is easy to satisfy, but I warned him that I'll have questions because I want to know why I'm doing what I'm doing....He told me to just listen to him. However, I break the first rule numerous times during each session, it just cannot be helped. And this went back to my friend (the Russian guy) at the bike shop, who told my coach that I want to know why because I am smart. My friend told me that my coach doesn't like questions because there was once someone who stole his training techniques and went to open a cycling school himself.

First Few Rides around New Home

I was going to post this a few days ago, but didn't get a chance to finish it off - here we go...

I shall carry on from where I left off from last time. I went to a LBS to get my bike checked out and fitted. The owner is an old Russian guy and is quite a character, amazingly straightforward, critical yet funny. He said that I put the bike together nicely and that I have mechanic potentials (lol that was a shocker). And complimented the bike, especially at the price I got it for :) He then fitted me on the bike. He made the bike very aero and taught me some techniques, including having elbows at 90 degree angles. Apparently I have a nice seat with a curve on my back unlike many other cyclists. There were rides leaving the shop on Saturdays and I asked if I could join. He said sure, if the weather is good and so we were to meet and ride on Saturday morning.

When I got back from the store, I took the bike for a spin around where I live. I was anxious because it's so so hilly around here. I went down the huge hill where I live and felt that I was going to tip over. In general the bike feels better than my old one. Especially when I stand up to pedal - it is so smooth and seems to move with me unlike my old one which felt very jerky (this might be due to the bike fit too). I finished the spin and was going back home when I missed my turn and was now at a 3 way stop sign. I was waiting for cars to go so that I could make a U-turn. But every one of the cars told me to go first. This is in stark contrast to Australia (lots of roundabouts instead of stop signs), where they never waited for me even if it was my turn to go and I have heard of many stories about drivers running cyclists off the road. Anyway, so off I went back towards the hill where I live. I think the gradient is over 13% ahhhh. I was shifting down and realized that there were no more gears left....gotta get used to the compact crankset!

On Friday, I decided to go for a ride around the area. I'm not supposed to do hills (says my coach), yet it's hard to map a flat ride without hills given it's the bay area. So I ended up going on Canada rd (quite flat), then climbed King's Mountain rd (that seemed like a never ending climb with an average gradient of 9%) and descended on Skyline blvd (a good but bumpy descent). The view was so beautiful around here - all dark green and lush and lively unlike the LA area. On my way back to the carpark, I was at a busy intersection. I signaled to turn left and behold, cars slowed down for me to pass. Once again, such a move would go unnoticed by Aussi drivers.

On Saturday, I was pretty excited to be riding with other people. I drove to the carpark behind the bike shop to meet up with the Russian dude and the others. I waited for a while, but no one showed up. So I found another ride. It's a ride with a bike shop in Pleasanton. Pretty far drive but I wanted to ride with others. That was a 30 miles ride including some climbs. There were only three of us on the ride including the ride leader. The other guy is quite fat but has lots of leg muscles. His ego seemed rather damaged when I could climb faster than him...I don't see how he would think he could be faster than me on the mountains with all his mass. I was still thinking about what happened with the Russian man, because knowing him (after an hour), I knew that he would not not show up. So after the ride, I went over to the shop to say hello. Apparently he was waiting for me inside his shop.....while I was waiting for him inside my car....and since I 'didn't show up', he didn't go ride. Anyways, I hanged out in the shop for a while, talked to a couple of other cyclists who were also hanging around. They told me some nice rides around the area and some clubs to join. The Russian dude then told me to contact his friend who is a cycling coach - he has coached Olympians and world champions.

On Sunday, I was supposed to do a long ride. But I was lazy and actually my legs were sore. So I just did the Bicycle Sunday ride on Canada rd (where the road is closed to traffic). I did 2 laps, admired the beauty of Crystal Springs and felt rather bored. Was going to do a 3rd lap, but sustained a bird poop...ewwww...so I cut the ride short. Upon return to the car and investigation in the mirror, there was nothing on me. It may have just been a wet leaf, less ewwww, but still eww.

I NEED to lose weight. In the holidays I was at 61 kg, gained around 1.5 kg while at home. During the last couple of weeks, there were no food temptations, currently at 58.5 kg. I need to get down to 56 kg by the end of March. It’s going to be easy I think. There are many areas where subcutaneous fat needs to be lost, for instance, tummy (0.5 kg), arms (0.2 kg), legs (0.5 kg), everywhere else (1 kg) and visceral fat too (1 kg). Right now I have 20% body fat or 11.8 kg of fat. If I lose 3 kg of fat, then I would be at 15.7% body fat. But by that time, I would likely have more muscles, so the actual body fat percentage would be lower.

Which reminds me, I was watching the following...



Andy Schleck is already so skinny and had to lose 1-2 kg for the tour?! It looked like he could possibly faint with each step. This video was great to gain a perceptive into the pro life....I want to train full time, work with the best people etc...one can daydream :) And 'I have Frank in the race, when there is a crash I always look to see if he is there....I don't care so much about myself, because I feel safe'...that is so sweet.

Leaving Home, Finding Apartment and Moving

After almost 7 weeks at home, I was sad to leave. I have said a few times before that sometimes I feel lonely when I'm by myself, I realize now that it's homesickness, because that 'loneliness' is not helped by talking to friends or doing exciting things, only by talking with or being with family does it help. I think my little sister has it figured out, she will go to uni in Perth and will most likely stay in Perth afterwards. 

Everyone went to the airport to send me off. Air NZ introduced a restriction of 23 kg for checked in luggage, which is rather annoying considering mine weighed 25 kg. So I put some things into my carry on luggage. During this, my dad kept on saying how bad the service is to the attendant. Idk what he can achieve by doing this (other than venting his anger) because 1. the weight restriction is placed by the airline and not by the attendant 2. talking badly to service people can have repercussions. The said repercussion indeed happened...For this airline, I could choose my seat for the flight from Perth to Auckland online, but not the Auckland to SF flight. I asked the attendant if I could choose my seat for the second leg. She said, yes, we will get to that. Soon, she printed out the boarding passes and asked whether aisle seat was ok, I said yes (that's what I wanted), although I thought it was strange that she didn't ask me to choose the seat myself. After I boarded the flight heading for SF, I discovered that she had put me next to the toilets, with people squeezed next to me, even though it was a half full flight! I thought it was ridiculous yet unsurprising, and indeed funny that people do such things. I asked the flight attendant if I could switch seats. I ended up sitting away from the toilets, on the aisle with spare seats next to me. And that was a pretty good flight as far as flying goes. Oh yes, I decided to try the low fat meals. I'm glad I did because they are the type of food that I normally eat, without all the fat/oil/salt. The quality of the food is good. If memory serves me right, one of the meals was a piece of chicken breast with beans, asparagus and baked sweet potatoes, cf to normal meal selection of either beef gravy or pasta. I think the special meals on the economy class, ie low fat, for diabetics etc are the same as these that are served on premium economy and perhaps even business classes. During the flight, I saw several movies, don't remember them much but I really enjoyed Horton hears a Who, funny and sweet. 

After the 32 hours of flying plus layover, I waited for 2 hours in line for customs, then I caught a taxi to get my car from the storage facility and to grab a few essentials from the storage unit. Walking into the storage unit was sad because I could clearly remember when my mum and little sister helped me to move everything in there weeks ago. I could also clearly remember thinking that I would be sad to come back here without them. Anyway, I quickly left the place and drove to my hotel, contacted a few apartments, then took the much needed rest. I looked at over 8 places. There was one which I always go back to because of their wooden floor. And what do you know, I'm living in it now :) The move was exhausting. There were so many things in the storage unit and they were so heavy. Carrying the boxes I thought I might faint. But as soon as I got everything into my apartment, suddenly I was no longer tired, perhaps it was a mental thing. Initially, I was going to get furniture from Ikea, but I thought perhaps I could get better quality pieces that would last longer and also look better. So I went to other furniture stores. I walked into one store and immediately saw a white leather sofa/chair. It looked great, simple yet classic. I just couldn’t stop looking at it nor get over it. It’s very expensive (supposedly a famous design), yet I knew that I had to get it. It's like how I knew that I have to live in this apartment (but without the guilt of spending so much money). I ordered several other things from them including a bedroom set and a bookcase. They will all arrive next week. 

I'm now sitting on a cushion on the ground, with my laptop on a makeshift table listening to music and admiring my new bike :) It arrived today in several pieces. I placed them together in about half an hour. Not sure how well they are put together. I will get it checked out tomorrow at a LBS and also to get it fitted for me.

Cycling and Other Matters

So, I should talk a bit about cycling in Perth. There are as I had mentioned previously, many cyclists here. And thus, more good cyclists which is unfortunate for the ego, but fortunate for motivation. This seems to be especially true in the club that I ride in.

Their rides are typically divided into 6 levels, with people joining a level based on their ability. For the first ride, I joined level 1 (level 0 is full of crazy fast people) thinking that I will do fine. Not so. I was fine to keep up with them for the first 30 min, but soon, I just don't have the power anymore. So I got swiped up by the level 2 group. I can side track and say that I do get up very early at 5.15 am and ride 10 miles (fast pace) to meet with the club, but I don't think they are much of an excuse. For later rides, I joined level 2, that was a much better pace for me but still I need to avoid the back otherwise I risk getting dropped. Rides with the club are seriously mind bogglingly humbling, and there I was thinking that I was some cycling hot shot.

So I decided to follow my training program as set out by my coach more closely the past week. I saw a significant improvement on a ride that I did last Thursday. And was eager to test it out in the club setting.

Today, there was a level 1.5 group which I happily joined. The first hour was fine and feels cruisy, then suddenly I was out of power and saw a gap opening fast. The president of the club rode next to me and without a word gave me a push (as he has done many times whenever I am in the same group as him). It's SO embarrassing. When I started out with this club, there was a really nice guy who started pushing me up a hill. I told him that I don't need him to push me. But now, I realize that I can't say no, otherwise I would just get dropped. After the ride, a female cyclist told me that they were all jealous because I got pushed by him.....I guess it's because he is the president of the club and is surprisingly good looking. I appreciate him helping me, but at the same time, it feels so belittling and just.....just sad. I need to be better. It's a matter of honor and pride.....life and death lol.

Another matter, a few weeks ago, while I was sleeping at night, there was a sudden jolt of pain in my stomach and I was feeling feverish and overall in such a bad state that I thought about waking up my mum to go to the hospital, but then decided I should be ok and tried to sleep through it. Anyways, I woke up the next morning without any pain and told my mum about what happened. She immediately said that I need to get a bf to care for me......just another occasion for her to bring it up. What she doesn't know is that while I think it's fine to have a bf and see him a few times a week, at this point, I don't want to give up my freedom to live together with someone. This point of view may change later, but for the near future, I am focusing on my work and of course on cycling :).

This reminds me of something else, dad had given a speech to us girls (my little sister and I, twin sister was luckily away) in the family about how he feels that we disrespect him. He went on to say that he guarantees that no man, in this world, would ever be better to us than he is to us. I nearly burst out laughing when I heard this but suppressed it and sat through 2 hours of similar bs (he even tried to sabbotage my relationship with my siblings and with my mum, I won't go into details here). Mum and twin sister were both surprised that I was able to sit through all of this, well, it's either because I could control myself better and/or I just don't give a shit about him anymore. Yet, I am sad because I know that it must be sad for him to feel this way, however, respect and for that matter, love, are built and earned through action and not through words.

爱江山更爱美人

Used to sing to this and love Brigitte Lin