The Cars - Soon

Life's Choices

There are so many choices we make in life that lead us to different situations. And each of these situations give rise to more decisions and so the tree continues. I sometimes wonder what life would be like if I had stayed in Australia, if I had gone to UK to do my PhD or chosen Princeton instead of Caltech. Right now, I'm not sure where I'll go for work. There are so many possibilities and to choose is difficult. If there are less choices available, then life may be easier. Because there is no thinking of 'what ifs'. I hope the choice that I make in terms of where to live and which company to work for will result in the most positive outcome. And of course, the most positive outcome is where I will be the happiest. People in the past, their objectives are to have a full stomach and stay warm. And having that would likely keep them content. But modern day humans are exposed to so many opportunities that make us wonder what it would be like to have this or to do that (such curiosity likely led to the uprise of the human civilization, but can also lead to it's downfall) and thus happiness is on average harder to attain. Anyway, I will probably end up in Germany, Switzerland or stay in the US (in order of current preference). I want a new start, meet new people, live in a new place and be more caring, more outgoing and more flexible - in short, be a better person. I, like everyone else have the potential to be a better person.

I've decided to go back to horse riding. I like cycling, but I don't feel it's natural for me and being on the saddle, I constantly feel that I will fall off and that's a horrible feeling. On the other hand, for horse riding even though I have fallen off and broken my back - it just feels....right. When descending while cycling, if my tire blew up, then my bike would be a pile of mess and so would I. In horse riding, when I fall, the horse would stop next to me and be there again when I need him. I have more trust in an animal than in a piece of metal, even if the animal has a mind of it's own. In any case, I am going back to horse riding, but I need to plan it out so that I have enough money to last me till the end of the year. Perhaps I'll start again in a couple of months time.

It's Chinese new year now, at times like this, I miss my family even more and wish that they are here to celebrate with. On a positive note, I think I'll be home for CNY next year. The plan is to graduate at the end of this year, stay at home for 2 months, then travel around the world for a few months (which will open my eyes to the world - damn I CAN'T wait!!) before going for my new job in June or so in 2013. :) :) :)

Finger Eleven - Living in a Dream

Home 2011-12

As previously unofficially agreed with my mum, my little brother Yu joined me on cycling rides to 'protect me'. I got him a flat bar road bike since he is uncomfortable with handling typical road bikes and the more sturdy mountain bikes would slow him down. I taught him a few basics about cycling including many safety tips. During our rides, I spent most of the time freaking out about him and constantly telling him to stay on the left, not swerve too much (which he does a lot) and to look left and right before and during a crossing (yet each time I look back when he is making a crossing, he is happily looking right back at me without a care in the world). So I tried to pick out routes with cycling paths and shared paths. It's also a good thing that roads in Perth are in general safer since most drivers are more careful and they have lower speed limits.

My favorite rides were to the beach and around Swan River. For the ride to the beach, we had to cross a major freeway. There was a cycling path to there, but from the map the path around the crossing seemed to disappear to nowhere and reappear again. So I warned my brother that we might have to make a run for it across the freeway. I was quite anxious that he might trip or something while crossing it. So I was rather relieved to find out that they dug a tunnel under the freeway! Most of the ride to the beach was very hilly and I quite liked it but my brother not so much - he remembered each hill that he had to climb.

My mum dropped us off at Swan River around Perth city area. There is a nice and smooth cycling path around the river and we cycled up and down a stretch of it. The scenery was beautiful and the weather was perfect. There were many other cyclists there, and most of them seemed quite professional (when I say professional, it simply means that they are wearing outfits with logos, it has nothing to do with how fit or how fast they are going). I like the look of logos on others but I prefer clean designs on myself. Anyway, many of them passed us. I can't exactly judge how fast they are going, but from an unbiased guess, I think I would be faster than most of them :)

I didn't get a chance to do any long rides. After each ride, my brother would ask eagerly where will we go the next day, how could I bring myself to tell him that I want to ride by myself?! In any case, cycling with my little brother was great fun and I'm super proud of him (he is also very proud of himself) - his longest ride was 28km. It was also a good chance for me to develop my almost non-existent bike handling skills. I'm happy to say that now I can cycle standing up. All I have to do was trust myself. I've also been practicing going downhill on the hoods. As well, I can cycle with one hand! Ok, the definition of 'can' is broad, I'm comfortable with holding the bike with just my right hand, the longest I've ridden with one hand is probably 100meters or so.

My little brother and I rode almost every morning. In the afternoons, our family went crabbing, went to the beach, went swimming, I baked some cookies and cakes and my mum made her yummy cookings. I have to confess that once I overate (I'm typically the biggest eater in the family except for when it comes to going out, cos I don't particularly fancy restaurant food) and my stomach was still hurting the next day.

We also went to play tennis. It was very fun even though we played poorly and spent most of the time running around catching and collecting balls. The following day, we went to see a tennis game because we got some VIP passes. We saw games from some big tennis stars including Li Na from China and Lleyton Hewitt from Australia. During the game, we cheered on the players, held the diamond encrusted trophy and I was probably on national TV for a brief moment. There were cameramen filming the event and next to our stand was a cameraman. I was watching the game intently and suddenly out of the peripheral of my vision I noticed a camera literally right on my cheek. I tried not to laugh so I turned away and pretended to talk to my little sister. Who just ignored me. Apparently, my little sister and brother saw the camera way before I did and they said it was there for 2minutes!

I was sad to say goodbye to my family. At the airport, I could tell from mum's face how sad she was and there was also a hint of desperation. Seeing this made me sad even more and I tried hard to hold back the tears. My mum is the type who never expresses how much she cares about someone by words, instead she does so through her actions. Before I always thought that feelings need to be openly stated in words for others to understand, now I realize that it need not be. Mum is over 50 and her health is not as before. It's sad to see her age and even worse knowing that I may not be there for her when she needs to be taken care of since I have chosen to study and later work far from home. Thinking about this makes me feel quite guilty but I am also selfish in that I don't want to stay in Australia where there are limited career opportunities. The best option would be for when my parents retire that they come and live in the states. It makes a lot of sense since my siblings would probably be studying in the best colleges in the US anyways...:)