Cycling is Back!

I got back from Germany Friday night. When I first got in, I felt like I couldn't breath the air. It was so heavy and I was so stuffed. It was that bad. The plane ride sucked as always. And after the horrible flight, I had to wait to go through border security. These people are always rude and profoundly bored of their jobs. It's interesting that they are the first Americans that foreigners get to see - talk about a first impression!

On Saturday, I thought I had better get back in the action of things since I haven't been doing much exercise over the past 2 weeks. So even though I was having a bad cold (which I attribute to not exercising), I went to do a few laps around RB. The following day I went to do my typical GMR-39 loop. I have been lucky because a fire started and died while I was away. The road was however still closed, so I had to along with my bike hop over 3 gates. When I was nearing the rest stop at top of GMR, I could hear air hissing out of my front tire. I stopped to investigate but couldn't see or feel any difference so I decided to keep going until I reach the top to change the tube. A cyclist then rode up and started talking to me. After 2 min, I told him that I have a flat and he helped me to change it. I know the general idea of changing tubes but not about how to prevent pinches etc. It was nice that he was there to help make sure that I put in the tube properly. I then continued onto backside of GMR and 39. It was a hot day, my cold was still there and crap was coming out of my nose. I needed a lot of water so I stopped at the station to get water. After one drink, I wanted to spit the water out, it was horrible and it tasted toxic. I think it must have the ashes from the fire. I was so thirsty and tired but couldn't drink the water in my bottle. Not a good situation to be in.

Yesterday I went up the 2. I was going pretty well and feeling good, when all of a sudden I heard a loud bang and pshhhh as my back tire blew out. So I got off the bike and headed for a nice shaded area to change the tube. I was a little bit excited cos this would be my first time changing tubes by myself while out cycling. I want to get this first over with cos it's bound to happen at some point. As I was investigating my tire for any sharps etc, a cyclist descending from the opposite side asked if I was ok, I told him, yes I'm ok. But a moment later he was back and ready to help me change the tube. I guess I just looked that clueless. I am of course always grateful for people taking their time out to help me. So I listened and nodded while he was showing me how to change the tube even though I already knew how to do it. When he was leaving he told me that he just saw a coyote and that I should carry a pepper spray, I told him I saw it too and I was calling for it to come to me.....sounds so stupid haha. I then went up to the station and decided to call it a day. While there I bumped into someone from the club, he is a very good triathlete and he is humble about it too, in fact, both him and his gf are like that. I hope I won't be full of myself when I get good lol.

Today I went up to do GMR-GRR. I carried an extra bottle in my back pocket to avoid dehydration. I was nearing the station when someone I drove past on Sierra Madre came by me and we chatted for a bit. I then met another cyclist, a 55 yo guy who has been cycling and racing for many years. We rode together on GRR and back. He asked if I'm married and have children....haha getting married is one thing, having kids is another! I wouldn't be surprised if I get married this year, but having kids is not going to happen for awhile yet. He then promptly told me that there are many single cycling guys lol. Single cyclist dudes, please come and introduce yourselves. Here are my criteria, not much, just four - fit, honest, humble and can laugh at yourself.....the first is very easy to achieve, the rest not so much. Of course there needs to be attraction, in general after one conversation, I'd know if it's going to happen or not. Being wealthy and smart are overrated, they are nice but certainly not necessary. Anyways back on track, we cycled on. We started talking about politics, or shall I say, he was talking about politics. I don't know enough to voice an opinion. He is conservative in terms of economics, abortion and immigration but liberal in that he doesn't impose his views on others. haha I don't know if not imposing ones views on others can be classified as conservative or liberal. We soon reached Mt Baldy village and I took off my helmet and sunglasses to rest. Upon seeing me he told me that I should be a Fox news anchor cos they employee very beautiful women lol.....We then headed back. I don't like descending GMR, there are so many switch backs and it's quite technical. Looking at my speedometer, the max speed was 37.4 mph. He descended much faster than I did but maintained that I am a good descender...(here comes the important part)....for a woman...(so sad).....he says most women he ride with get very tense and he has to wait for them for a long time. He then said that my cycling is advanced, to which I told him that my cycling skills are certainly beginner. In fact, I fell (again) while trying to start cycling on an incline. I want to practice my bike handling skills. I envision wrapping my elbows and knees with bubble wrap and seeing how long I can balance on a bike for, practice starting the bike on steep inclines and turning around tight corners.

Last Days in Germany

I shall pick up from where I left off last time. I was in Munich for 2 days. I've been moving around so much I hardly remember what happened a few days ago! Anyways, in short, there were so many things to do in Munich and 2 days was definitely not enough. I then drove to Schloss Neuschwanstein and then to Freiburg. The south of Germany was amazing, with mountains and lots of trees and very clean air. The water from the tap was straight from the Alps, it had no taste which was great. While I was driving around Schwarzwald it suddenly started to rain. It was like torrential downpour that started all of a sudden and stopped all of a sudden. Very refreshing. I want to live there!! But then I understood why there are so many cycling accidents there even though they have many cycling paths. This is because the roads are most times very narrow and there is no speed limit.

I then went onto Frankfurt to visit the company that was located with many other companies in an enclosed complex. I was a full 20 min in advance and thought all I had to do was get on a shuttle into the building. But I had to go through security where I had to take a quiz on safety questions. I discovered that you couldn’t answer the questions without watching their lengthy video. However, even after watching the video, I still got some wrong (I had no idea what they were asking, the English translations were pretty bad) and it said on the screen that you have used all your attempts, please see reception. So like an idiot I had to tell them that I didn't pass the useless test. I was given another chance and must pass it otherwise I can't go through. Imagine me not getting in because of some stupid test! So I focused while watching the anal video and passed it. I then waited and waited for the shuttle to get me inside the building. When I arrived, I was a full 15 min late. So so so bad! The guy I met with was very nice aber very geeky. I discovered that people work very long hours!! And apparently people in Europe always do a post-doc before getting pharma industry jobs! Well, I am NOT going to do any 'studying' anymore, it's high time that I get an actual job!!

Today I went to get my car scratches fixed. Before going further, I'd like to admit that in addition to the scratches I got while reversing in Dresden, I got another one while driving on the Autobahn. There are constantly road works in Germany on their Autobahns (no wonder the road is so nice) and they often narrow 3 lanes into 2 to do this. So the roads are very narrow. Yesterday while driving at night for 400 km from Frankfurt to Leipzig, there was something wrong with the headlights in my car, so I couldn't see clearly the boulders of the road on a section of road work. And behold I scratched the car on the ledge! So dead – the car has some sort of curse on it. I heard that some small scratches can set you back at hundreds of dollars, and with the scratches I have collected - I wouldn't be surprised if they ask me to pay a grand. So I decided to go to an auto shop to get them fixed. Or I could fix it myself by buying some paint. I had experience with this, but this time, the scratches were so huge and bad I highly doubt I could cover it up. In fact I would probably just make it worse. Anyways, I went to an auto shop and a really nice guy came out. He couldn't speak much English but lead me to another place that specialized in paint jobs. We dropped my car there for them to fix at a very modest price and he drove me to the Hauptbahnhof so I could catch a train to Leipzig. Believe it or not my German was actually slightly better than his English. So we talked in German and I had the longest German conversation ever! I was to meet him at his shop at 4.30 pm which leaves just 5 hours. Along with waiting for the train and time to get to and out of Leipzig, I really didn't have much time to spend in Leipzig so I went for the Amazonian forest experience. That was awesome! It felt so peaceful in there with seemingly real forest sounds. I saw huge images of insects etc that are absolutely fascinating but in real life would scare the shit out of me. I then went back by taxi. My gosh the taxi driver ist sehr dumm, he was so slow on the Autobahn and took 1 hour to get there instead of 30 min (time I'd have taken) whilst cussing at traffic all the time. I finally got to that dudes shop at 5 pm. And I had to pay 70 EU for the taxi drivers stupidity. I told him that I’m not going to pay this much because it was his fault. He said no. This went back and forth for a bit to no avail. He then threatened to call the police. Threatening does not work on me! I’d gladly play this game except I was already super late. And it kills me to be this late especially with Germans so I gave in. When I got to the shop, his car was gone and shop was closed. Apparently he was out looking for me...I felt so bad! But when he saw me he wasn't the least upset. He wanted to know where I'm staying at and kept asking when I'm flying out etc. I have to admit that it's obvious he's helping me out and being extra nice because he likes me. He couldn’t stop looking at me and smiling even while driving. Normally this sort of behavior is creepy but this time it's rather flattering because he is really nice and I have to say hot! It's odd, I have never found guys who are smart to be hot. I guess smart guys are generally either arrogant, unfit, geeky and or weird. It just feels nice to be around a real man, who is strong and who acts like a man (the latter is much harder to achieve). My car is now perfect - you can't see ANY damages whatsoever! I won't have to worry about returning the car tomorrow but I need to be careful with the driving!

I will be leaving Germany tomorrow. Two weeks seem to have gone by so fast yet I have done so many things! Conclusions from the trip, Germans are not cold at all or particularly formal either. It's easy to start a conversation with them and going in deeper not just surface talk. People say 'danke schön' all the time and people who don't know each other say 'tschüs' even though it's the informal way. The guy that I talked to who told me that Germans don't accept foreigners most definitely just comes from his own experience. Being the typical US person Germans would pick it up straightaway. If you want people to open up to you, you have to open up to them first. I find it very nice that I could talk to Germans about things that are considered out of line in the US because it's too personal etc. Instead Germans like that and you definitely feel closer because I for one, really don't like making surface talks because I think it's just so superficial. I love to find personal similarities and interesting differences. Yet I don't think I'd be getting a job in Germany next year, perhaps in the future. So I am going to continue learning German and not give it up half way. The first part of learning a language is always hard, but once you understand most of the conversation, it becomes a lot easier :)

Berlin Conference and Beyond

The conference has finished so I'm now free to do some travelling. In the following I'll recount what has happened during the past week.

On Monday there were some interesting talks (antibody drug conjugates) so I went to see what's going on in this field. However I had a hard time catching myself from falling asleep. It was strange because I was taking notes while dozing off. I then went to have lunch and met this girl from Venezuela. She paid for everything herself, the conference registration, airfare and hotel just to come to the conference. This was really admirable and I wanted to be as interested as she was, but such things cannot be helped. She wanted to join me for everything including going around looking at the posters. It would have been fine if I was interested in looking at the posters. However, the posters were pretty much all of the same, elucidating new pathways, finding new targets, making new drugs etc but with no good way of delivering them and with no animal data. So I had no interest and while looking at the posters I may have accidentally ditched her and went off to do my own thing. I felt a bit bad doing this but the posters were just that boring and I really don't see the point of looking at posters together.

At night I researched on people to contact. Since I was to give a talk on the last day, it would be hard to meet people. If I was to give a poster presentation, then there would have been easier one on one communications. And I don’t feel comfortable just walking up to people and asking for a job. The conference provided people with everyone’s name, email address and which company or university they were from. I contacted people from 5 big pharma companies and only one of them was interested in what I'm doing, nanoparticle delivery of therapeutics. The others are conservative and only want to do what they have been doing all along, making libraries upon libraries of drugs without having a good way to deliver them. I met up with the vice president the next day and will visit their Frankfurt site next week. It was refreshing to see a big pharma company being interested in nanoparticles. I know that in the US, the inside story is that these companies are waiting for each other to show if it works. If it does, then the rest would jump in. In this case, waiting passively will not get you anywhere because using nanoparticles is the future. All their properties are better - pharmacokinetics, safety and efficacy. There is minimal risk in going into this, but with great gain. I'm not saying this because I'm working in this area. It just so happens that I am lucky enough to be working in something that has a future.

On Tuesday night I went to the speakers dinner which was held in a restaurant within the Reichstag. We arrived by bus at 8 pm and went through security. You were supposed to bring your ID, naturally I forgot but still got through. I'm not too keen on man made stuff, but this architecture was pretty nice. Still after a couple of minutes, I was done and starving. We finally had dinner at 9 and went back to the hotel after midnight. It was a long dinner, so it was good that I got to talk to this interesting and nice person, an editor of a journal. It turns out that he was a competitive cyclist in high school (cat 3) and was deciding whether to continue doing this or go to college. He chose college. At first he said he didn't regret it, but by the end of the evening, he concluded that he could have taken 4 or 5 years out after high school to see how far he could have gone in cycling and would likely end up in the same position he is in now if cycling was not for him. So he ended up encouraging me to pursue competitive cycling. Him being nice tried to introduce me to people to help get me a job, but I wasn't really interested. I think this is just me, but I either talk to a person for getting a job or I talk to a person out of personal interest. Combining them in my opinion is bad and I feel very contrived in doing this. I don't want to have ulterior motives when talking to people, nor do I want people to have ulterior motives when talking to me. I know this is pretty naive and utopian, but I'm not going to change it unless I absolutely I have to.

Wednesday was rather dull. I went for some talks, dozed off, had lunch and went around Berlin for the third time. This was with the conference people and we went for a walk and a boat cruise. The boat ride was the reason why I chose this excursion, but the ride was absolutely slow and fascinatingly boring. I was talking to a German guy and he loves to learn everything about Berlin. He seemed like an arrogant spoilt brat. When there was commentary in German but not in English, he had to translate everything to me....I really couldn't care less. I was so glad when the ride was over.

My talk was on Thursday a little after noon and it went pretty well. The people before me were clearly very nervous. I was nervous beforehand but not as nervous as the first time I gave a talk in Blacksburg. But while giving the talk, it was a little unnerving because there were bright lights shining into my eyes - I was certainly in the center of attention. My hand while holding the laser pointer was shaking a bit, but thankfully my voice was very smooth and sounded like a very mature person. In my humble opinion, I think my talk went well. But it’s always nice to have others backing this because it may just be in your head. Some people came up to me and said it was a beautiful presentation etc. And the cyclist guy I met earlier emailed me to congratulate me on my talk and said the presentation was excellent etc. A lot of people talk BS, but knowing how he is, I was very happy and flattered by his comments.

At night, I met with a person from a chemical company that I had contacted earlier. I thought it would just be a half hour meeting. But he ordered drinks and later we had dinner. So it turned out to be a five hours meeting. I thought he was interested in my research, but pretty soon I found out that he was just bored and had no plans for the evening. He was interested in my background and why I want to stay in Germany. Him being Chinese said I would have a better time in the US, because in Germany, from his experience, even if people are nice to you, they don’t want to accept you into their circles. You know how some people just like to hear themselves talk, he was such a person. He made some good points and I did learn a lot from him although he did sound hypocritical. He told me that Germans do not accept outsiders, so he encouraged me to stay in the US. Yet, he also told me that his kids in the US are not accepted either. I never felt like an outsider in the US. In Australia yes, even though they claim to be multi-cultural that's all BS. People used to (not really sure now) look down on Asians because most Asians open restaurants or are blue-collars. While in the US, there are definitely a lot more Asians proportionally in high end and respectable jobs. I think what's being going on in Australia, may apply to Germany as well. There are very few Asians here, the only ones I have seen are maids and the few people I have seen on the streets look rather poor. If Germany is anything like Australia, then I'm definitely not going to stay here. Of equal importance, I just found out that pay in Germany is half that in US! This is because Germany has a nice overall plan with good retirement funds. As well, healthcare is good and education is pretty much free here, while Americans need to save up for college funds for their kids (if you have two, that would easily total half a million). However, I need money fast!

On Friday, I checked out of the hotel, went to the airport and rented a car and drove down to Dresden. Driving on the Autobahn was interesting. The left lane is for fast drivers, anything from 140 kph to maybe over 200 kph. Initially I was not comfortable doing 140 kph, now doing 160 kph is no big deal. It's really funny cos if you want to stay on the fast lane, you have to keep a constant look out on your rear mirror if there is a faster car behind you so that you move out of his way. Soon I arrived at Dresden. For some reason, I remember hearing that it was a nice town. But the events that has happened in this town made me happy to be outta there.

I booked my hotel in Dresden after making sure that it has parking. However, the car park just behind the hotel was full so I parked in another parking space. While I was checking in, I could see some people wondering around my car and realized that it was their designated space so I quickly went to move it. While I was walking up to my car. A man was shouting at me, 'Was ist das?!' yada yada (can't understand the rest). I apologized (in English which he could not understand) and moved the car and he was very happy. People who get worked up over little things are just pathetic. I went to my hotel room and discovered that there were many different plans for the internet including one for 1 month at a lower average rate. So I called the hotel staff and asked them if this particular internet provider is available in most places in Germany. I realize that the question was complicated but they couldn't speak English well and hang up on me! I was a bit shocked but I didn't expect too much from them anyways. I then went out to buy some grocery. While I was turning into another street, a car nearly crashed into me. He must have been going at over 50 mph on a small road, he narrowly missed me, swerved and locked wheels...that was sorta scary. At the grocery store I was pushed in front of by a 50+ yo man. I explained patiently to him that I was in front of him and that he shouldn't do that in English - all I got was a very blank look. And while backing up the car, I scratched the stupid car on the front bumper. The rental guy told me to check for all signs of scratches etc carefully and note everything down. I might have to pay a lot of money for this - I will have a wonderful time back at the rental place. Random thought, they have their ads all over the car - do I get paid for advertising for them? When I got back to the hotel, I discovered that the bathroom in my room stunk of sewer - it was absolutely awful. I was considering not showering that night. So I went downstairs to talk to reception, if I call them they will probably just hang up again. I changed rooms which was much better but still not good. It smelt like the urinals, but still steps above the strong sewer smell. After all these events, I was just happy to start the drive away from Dresden and into Munich.

Confused in Berlin

I'm now in Berlin. The city is great and the people are surprisingly nice and friendly. Not everyone can speak English fluently and many can't understand it. There were a few people who became especially embarrassed that they can't speak English properly when I should have been the one to feel that way for not knowing their language. There was also this person who spoke absolutely no English and kept on asking me if I'm from Denmark - no idea where that came from. I went around Berlin city yesterday and did a bike tour ride with a group around Berlin again today. Terribly bored, not interested in history or the arts - it's more like being there, done that. And the other tourists look bored too. I'll go on yet another tour around Berlin with the conference people in a few days (Berlin fever). The transport system is superb and being German very on time. I used the S-bahn to get to and from the city without any problems. The weather has also being especially welcoming, always sunny at 22 oC. There is really nothing negative to say. Except for the fact that a lot of people stare at me. It's true that there are very few Asians here and they are mostly from the southeast. I don't exactly mind being stared at although it's a little creepy and uncomfortable, and I won't be able to have any 'picking nose' moments cos all my actions are being observed. As well it's interesting that people here seem to try hard to stand out rather than blend in, yet there is something about them that just makes them as a whole quite predictable and one of the same. Not necessarily a bad thing, just an observation.

Yet I don't know if I want to live in Germany, it doesn't feel like home. When I was leaving my apartment back in US, I felt so empty as if I'm leaving it forever. It's not that I love my apartment, it's just that I'm so afraid of making the wrong life decision. But perhaps more importantly, Germany is so flat! There are no mountains to do cycling :( I clearly thought about living in Germany and attending this conference before I made my decision about pro cycling.

I can't imagine myself doing another 2 years of research. Knowing that there is something else that I like more out there and not being able to pursue it full time just kills me. And this would most likely result in me over time becoming more and more disinterested and maybe even dislike research. I have wasted so much of my life pursuing things that I'm only half interested in, and when I have finally found what I'm interested in, I can't pursue it immediately - so sad and ironic. I believe I'm having what's known as a mid life crisis, except it's when I'm still young and I'm able to do something about it. I wish I have a rich and supportive family, so that I can get into full time cycling after I graduate. But since that's probably not going to happen, I think I'll work part time as a mechanic in a LBS and learn about bikes while on the job. I'll be happy with the maximum amount of money they are willing to pay me for my tremendous knowledge and skills in bikes....:P