The Cars - Soon

Life's Choices

There are so many choices we make in life that lead us to different situations. And each of these situations give rise to more decisions and so the tree continues. I sometimes wonder what life would be like if I had stayed in Australia, if I had gone to UK to do my PhD or chosen Princeton instead of Caltech. Right now, I'm not sure where I'll go for work. There are so many possibilities and to choose is difficult. If there are less choices available, then life may be easier. Because there is no thinking of 'what ifs'. I hope the choice that I make in terms of where to live and which company to work for will result in the most positive outcome. And of course, the most positive outcome is where I will be the happiest. People in the past, their objectives are to have a full stomach and stay warm. And having that would likely keep them content. But modern day humans are exposed to so many opportunities that make us wonder what it would be like to have this or to do that (such curiosity likely led to the uprise of the human civilization, but can also lead to it's downfall) and thus happiness is on average harder to attain. Anyway, I will probably end up in Germany, Switzerland or stay in the US (in order of current preference). I want a new start, meet new people, live in a new place and be more caring, more outgoing and more flexible - in short, be a better person. I, like everyone else have the potential to be a better person.

I've decided to go back to horse riding. I like cycling, but I don't feel it's natural for me and being on the saddle, I constantly feel that I will fall off and that's a horrible feeling. On the other hand, for horse riding even though I have fallen off and broken my back - it just feels....right. When descending while cycling, if my tire blew up, then my bike would be a pile of mess and so would I. In horse riding, when I fall, the horse would stop next to me and be there again when I need him. I have more trust in an animal than in a piece of metal, even if the animal has a mind of it's own. In any case, I am going back to horse riding, but I need to plan it out so that I have enough money to last me till the end of the year. Perhaps I'll start again in a couple of months time.

It's Chinese new year now, at times like this, I miss my family even more and wish that they are here to celebrate with. On a positive note, I think I'll be home for CNY next year. The plan is to graduate at the end of this year, stay at home for 2 months, then travel around the world for a few months (which will open my eyes to the world - damn I CAN'T wait!!) before going for my new job in June or so in 2013. :) :) :)

Finger Eleven - Living in a Dream

Home 2011-12

As previously unofficially agreed with my mum, my little brother Yu joined me on cycling rides to 'protect me'. I got him a flat bar road bike since he is uncomfortable with handling typical road bikes and the more sturdy mountain bikes would slow him down. I taught him a few basics about cycling including many safety tips. During our rides, I spent most of the time freaking out about him and constantly telling him to stay on the left, not swerve too much (which he does a lot) and to look left and right before and during a crossing (yet each time I look back when he is making a crossing, he is happily looking right back at me without a care in the world). So I tried to pick out routes with cycling paths and shared paths. It's also a good thing that roads in Perth are in general safer since most drivers are more careful and they have lower speed limits.

My favorite rides were to the beach and around Swan River. For the ride to the beach, we had to cross a major freeway. There was a cycling path to there, but from the map the path around the crossing seemed to disappear to nowhere and reappear again. So I warned my brother that we might have to make a run for it across the freeway. I was quite anxious that he might trip or something while crossing it. So I was rather relieved to find out that they dug a tunnel under the freeway! Most of the ride to the beach was very hilly and I quite liked it but my brother not so much - he remembered each hill that he had to climb.

My mum dropped us off at Swan River around Perth city area. There is a nice and smooth cycling path around the river and we cycled up and down a stretch of it. The scenery was beautiful and the weather was perfect. There were many other cyclists there, and most of them seemed quite professional (when I say professional, it simply means that they are wearing outfits with logos, it has nothing to do with how fit or how fast they are going). I like the look of logos on others but I prefer clean designs on myself. Anyway, many of them passed us. I can't exactly judge how fast they are going, but from an unbiased guess, I think I would be faster than most of them :)

I didn't get a chance to do any long rides. After each ride, my brother would ask eagerly where will we go the next day, how could I bring myself to tell him that I want to ride by myself?! In any case, cycling with my little brother was great fun and I'm super proud of him (he is also very proud of himself) - his longest ride was 28km. It was also a good chance for me to develop my almost non-existent bike handling skills. I'm happy to say that now I can cycle standing up. All I have to do was trust myself. I've also been practicing going downhill on the hoods. As well, I can cycle with one hand! Ok, the definition of 'can' is broad, I'm comfortable with holding the bike with just my right hand, the longest I've ridden with one hand is probably 100meters or so.

My little brother and I rode almost every morning. In the afternoons, our family went crabbing, went to the beach, went swimming, I baked some cookies and cakes and my mum made her yummy cookings. I have to confess that once I overate (I'm typically the biggest eater in the family except for when it comes to going out, cos I don't particularly fancy restaurant food) and my stomach was still hurting the next day.

We also went to play tennis. It was very fun even though we played poorly and spent most of the time running around catching and collecting balls. The following day, we went to see a tennis game because we got some VIP passes. We saw games from some big tennis stars including Li Na from China and Lleyton Hewitt from Australia. During the game, we cheered on the players, held the diamond encrusted trophy and I was probably on national TV for a brief moment. There were cameramen filming the event and next to our stand was a cameraman. I was watching the game intently and suddenly out of the peripheral of my vision I noticed a camera literally right on my cheek. I tried not to laugh so I turned away and pretended to talk to my little sister. Who just ignored me. Apparently, my little sister and brother saw the camera way before I did and they said it was there for 2minutes!

I was sad to say goodbye to my family. At the airport, I could tell from mum's face how sad she was and there was also a hint of desperation. Seeing this made me sad even more and I tried hard to hold back the tears. My mum is the type who never expresses how much she cares about someone by words, instead she does so through her actions. Before I always thought that feelings need to be openly stated in words for others to understand, now I realize that it need not be. Mum is over 50 and her health is not as before. It's sad to see her age and even worse knowing that I may not be there for her when she needs to be taken care of since I have chosen to study and later work far from home. Thinking about this makes me feel quite guilty but I am also selfish in that I don't want to stay in Australia where there are limited career opportunities. The best option would be for when my parents retire that they come and live in the states. It makes a lot of sense since my siblings would probably be studying in the best colleges in the US anyways...:)

Christina Perri - A Thousand Years

Saddle, Squirrel, Club and Bike

Today I was supposed to do an epic 43miles ride in the mountains. But there was 'severe' weather warning stating that there is snow above 4500ft. I'm scared of slipping by just walking on ice, let alone cycling on ice. So I went to Rose Bowl (again) instead. I'm not very happy about it but given my track record, I may have avoided another accident.

I've been gradually raising my saddle, and now it has come to the point where I'm leaning forward so much that the most sensitive part is hurting. It's true that the saddle is now level, so I think it might help if I point the nose slightly downwards. This is so unfair. Men have greater physical strength and stamina than women, they don't have annoying periods, don't need to go through painful child birth and now, even cycling doesn't hurt as much for them! In the olden days, men are the bread winner and had to hunt food and be hunted. But now they no longer need to risk their lives to support their family. And with machinery to do most of the labor, with raise in jobs which only involve mental work, women are equally capable in the outside world as men. Yet, it's unfortunate that the physical inequalities defined by nature remain.

As I was cycling, I saw a squirrel who was crossing the road as me and a car were approaching. It stopped in the middle of the road upon seeing or hearing the car and was debating whether to turn back or finish the crossing. The car saw it and slowed down, the front tire avoided it but the rear tire run it over with the squirrel flying a feet or so into the air - it died instantly. With a snap of a finger, a life is gone. If the squirrel had not decided to cross the road, if the car did not come, if the car did not slow down, then it may have lived. Such are the unpredictable consequences of the conscious and subconscious choices we make in life.

I was also invited to join a cycling club (which was free to join). I actually enjoy cycling by myself now, going at my own pace and choosing to talk to or not talk to other cyclists. If I'm to join a club then I have to talk to everyone. One thing that I'm not fond about America is the general low standard of sense of humor. People laugh at the most trivial thing and they also try hard to be funny. I find this to be quite contrived and it's tiring to fake smiles in order to be polite. I'd much prefer to talk to someone who is classified as boring than to someone who is a try hard. Yet them trying to get me join their club reminds me of when I was super excited in organizing rides myself (but without much success). So I'll probably join this club for some of their Rose Bowl rides after I get back from my holiday.

I finally convinced my mum to let me rent a bike instead of buying one during my time home. If I was to buy a bike, I will also need to get pedals, pumps and maintain it. I only go home about 2 weeks per year so the rest of the year it would be sitting there collecting dust. As well, a year later after I graduate, I'd have money to buy a better bike. Then I'd have in total 3 bikes, 2 with me and 1 at home - this would be quite wasteful and unnecessary. For some reason, my mum has assumed that I'd be just cycling around the neighborhood instead of going to further places, and even so she is going to buy my little brother a mountain bike and has assigned him to protect me when I go out cycling. I couldn't help but lol when I heard this plan but it's very sweet and flattering at the same time :)

Pressure, Ego and Holiday Spirits

I'm a little embarrassed to report that for the past couple of weeks, I've only been to Rose Bowl. And even more so since I've been driving instead of cycling there. The reasons being I'm getting a little lazy in the cold weather as well as the fact that I want to avoid cycling on the road since I want to live till my golden years (still in the bronze stage).

Anyway, I changed my saddle to my new Selle Italia one. At 240g, it's so much lighter and is slim and sleek - aka pro looking. Initially I set the nose pointed too high. Hence it was pretty uncomfortable, or shall I say very uncomfortable. Yesterday I made it level and went for a ride at Rose Bowl. It was much better phew...but I can still feel the pressure. I will play with it a bit more. It would be a shame if the saddle that has saved thousands of women cannot fully save me :(

As I was cycling, 2 cyclists turned into the Bowl and rode to my left. Then a car came and they squeezed in front of me. I was quite annoyed at them for cutting me off and for assuming that I'd be slower than them. I could have told them off, but actions speak louder than words. So I simply effortlessly overtook them, leaving them behind eating my dust :)

It's quite funny when cyclists overtake me and then couldn't keep up with the speed. So I end up slowing down and tailgating them feeling bad to overtake knowing that their ego would be bruised. But most often they are at their optimum pace already, so I had to overtake. And of course, a couple of times they had to prove a point by overtaking me again before quickly leaving the Bowl exhausted - so stupid. I'm thinking that if I'm averaging 20mph now, then I'd be about 25mph if I'm drafting (very rough uneducated guess). Hence, before soon I could join the peloton at Rose Bowl....:D I think that'd at least a year from now.

I'm looking forward to going back home and giving out presents. I'll wrap them up before my flight since I arrive on Christmas day. The wrapping would most likely be battered by the time I arrive but then again, they are all the way from the other side of the world! I love the holiday season and I'm high on holiday spirits now - perhaps more so than I have ever been.