Cycling, Saddle Pain Explained, Knee, Life

Last Saturday I did the GMR-39 loop. I was supposed to join the club for an easier ride but of course I slept in. It's so hot and dry nowadays that I wake up out of thirst during the middle of the night, and it didn't help that on this particular night, my neighbors were constantly slamming doors. Until this point, I didn't know that doors could make such loud noises and send shudders throughout the whole building. You'd think that people in their 40s would have learnt to talk calmly and have some respect for others. Anyways, during the GMR climb, the muscle above my left knee started to scream and I was dreading to have to turn around. Then it stopped all of a sudden - so relieved. I wasn't particularly happy with my time, it increased from 2 h 32 min (one month ago) to 2 h 33 min. This was because I didn't push very hard for fear of aggravating my knee. But I was doing some low profile descents, speed increased so much by just being aero! And it felt so good too! :) So I thought I could make up for the time lost....oh well...Each time I go up GMR, there'd always be a lot of motorbikes racing up and down. Whenever I hear them come I'd get shivers. Sometimes they'd pass by pretty close, but apparently they pass by others even closer. There were cyclists complaining that the motorists gave way to me but scraped passed by them. Well, I guess there are some benefits of being a female cyclist. As I was descending and passing by GMR-GRR intersection, I came across a few motorists resting there to begin another round of crazy driving. A motorist dude stepped out and held out his water bottle for me as if I was a pro cyclist. hahaha that made my day, that time will come in the not too distant future :)

My new saddle with the huge cutout is great at relieving soft tissue pain, however, all the weight are now rested on an even smaller area - the pubic bones....and they started to protest pretty soon. Apparently keeping this up could lead to degenerative bone fracture :X So I tried to seat on my seat bones by moving the saddle forward and seating more backwards. Now I can say that I am finally privileged and lucky enough to experience seat bone pain (or at least some versions of it). Throughout my search for the perfect saddle and seeking the answer as to why it is that for women there is much more pain compared to men, I have concluded with the following. There will be some words used that maybe offensive for some people (aka bix) so be forewarned.

1. Female soft parts are located further down than males resulting in greater chance of seating on them.
2. This is worsened since the clitoris contains 2 times more nerve endings than an entire penis.
3. As well, the female pelvis is shallower than males meaning that even if you were seating on your seat bones, the soft tissues could still support your weight.

So there you have it, mystery solved.

Yesterday I went to physical therapy again, sigh, when will my knee be back to normal!? I was given more exercises to do including one with a flexible rope that you tie around yourself which was quite interesting. One of the exercises which involved supporting all your weight on one leg and doing 'leg presses' hurt my knee so much. I guess I will know when my knee is fully healed by using this exercise as a baseline. During the exercises, the lady who was helping me asked whether I still go to school and which grade I'm in. hmm seriously?! Do I look like a kid?! (though I do act like one when I'm happy :D) Before when people asked me if I'm still in school or not, I just assumed they meant whether I'm still in college, now I guess they must have meant whether I'm still in high school! I can't remember these days nor do I care to recount them....In 10 years time if I look 10 years younger then THAT would be flattering.

I wonder what life would be like in the future. I hope I'll be happy. I am content now but sometimes I feel like I am the only person in this world. I feel like no one understands me and that's a very lonely feeling. I'd feel less alone if I'm standing in the middle of the desert than in a place full of people who don't understand me. I'm looking forward to getting out of here. I think I have made a good choice career wise to come to this school, but not personally. Most people here are arrogant and place self worth by how smart they are and how many papers they have published....I think studying for so long have lead people to become tunnel visioned, because there is so much more to life than this. I long to be around normal people who have balanced life and who understand me.