Home 2011-12

As previously unofficially agreed with my mum, my little brother Yu joined me on cycling rides to 'protect me'. I got him a flat bar road bike since he is uncomfortable with handling typical road bikes and the more sturdy mountain bikes would slow him down. I taught him a few basics about cycling including many safety tips. During our rides, I spent most of the time freaking out about him and constantly telling him to stay on the left, not swerve too much (which he does a lot) and to look left and right before and during a crossing (yet each time I look back when he is making a crossing, he is happily looking right back at me without a care in the world). So I tried to pick out routes with cycling paths and shared paths. It's also a good thing that roads in Perth are in general safer since most drivers are more careful and they have lower speed limits.

My favorite rides were to the beach and around Swan River. For the ride to the beach, we had to cross a major freeway. There was a cycling path to there, but from the map the path around the crossing seemed to disappear to nowhere and reappear again. So I warned my brother that we might have to make a run for it across the freeway. I was quite anxious that he might trip or something while crossing it. So I was rather relieved to find out that they dug a tunnel under the freeway! Most of the ride to the beach was very hilly and I quite liked it but my brother not so much - he remembered each hill that he had to climb.

My mum dropped us off at Swan River around Perth city area. There is a nice and smooth cycling path around the river and we cycled up and down a stretch of it. The scenery was beautiful and the weather was perfect. There were many other cyclists there, and most of them seemed quite professional (when I say professional, it simply means that they are wearing outfits with logos, it has nothing to do with how fit or how fast they are going). I like the look of logos on others but I prefer clean designs on myself. Anyway, many of them passed us. I can't exactly judge how fast they are going, but from an unbiased guess, I think I would be faster than most of them :)

I didn't get a chance to do any long rides. After each ride, my brother would ask eagerly where will we go the next day, how could I bring myself to tell him that I want to ride by myself?! In any case, cycling with my little brother was great fun and I'm super proud of him (he is also very proud of himself) - his longest ride was 28km. It was also a good chance for me to develop my almost non-existent bike handling skills. I'm happy to say that now I can cycle standing up. All I have to do was trust myself. I've also been practicing going downhill on the hoods. As well, I can cycle with one hand! Ok, the definition of 'can' is broad, I'm comfortable with holding the bike with just my right hand, the longest I've ridden with one hand is probably 100meters or so.

My little brother and I rode almost every morning. In the afternoons, our family went crabbing, went to the beach, went swimming, I baked some cookies and cakes and my mum made her yummy cookings. I have to confess that once I overate (I'm typically the biggest eater in the family except for when it comes to going out, cos I don't particularly fancy restaurant food) and my stomach was still hurting the next day.

We also went to play tennis. It was very fun even though we played poorly and spent most of the time running around catching and collecting balls. The following day, we went to see a tennis game because we got some VIP passes. We saw games from some big tennis stars including Li Na from China and Lleyton Hewitt from Australia. During the game, we cheered on the players, held the diamond encrusted trophy and I was probably on national TV for a brief moment. There were cameramen filming the event and next to our stand was a cameraman. I was watching the game intently and suddenly out of the peripheral of my vision I noticed a camera literally right on my cheek. I tried not to laugh so I turned away and pretended to talk to my little sister. Who just ignored me. Apparently, my little sister and brother saw the camera way before I did and they said it was there for 2minutes!

I was sad to say goodbye to my family. At the airport, I could tell from mum's face how sad she was and there was also a hint of desperation. Seeing this made me sad even more and I tried hard to hold back the tears. My mum is the type who never expresses how much she cares about someone by words, instead she does so through her actions. Before I always thought that feelings need to be openly stated in words for others to understand, now I realize that it need not be. Mum is over 50 and her health is not as before. It's sad to see her age and even worse knowing that I may not be there for her when she needs to be taken care of since I have chosen to study and later work far from home. Thinking about this makes me feel quite guilty but I am also selfish in that I don't want to stay in Australia where there are limited career opportunities. The best option would be for when my parents retire that they come and live in the states. It makes a lot of sense since my siblings would probably be studying in the best colleges in the US anyways...:)

Christina Perri - A Thousand Years

Saddle, Squirrel, Club and Bike

Today I was supposed to do an epic 43miles ride in the mountains. But there was 'severe' weather warning stating that there is snow above 4500ft. I'm scared of slipping by just walking on ice, let alone cycling on ice. So I went to Rose Bowl (again) instead. I'm not very happy about it but given my track record, I may have avoided another accident.

I've been gradually raising my saddle, and now it has come to the point where I'm leaning forward so much that the most sensitive part is hurting. It's true that the saddle is now level, so I think it might help if I point the nose slightly downwards. This is so unfair. Men have greater physical strength and stamina than women, they don't have annoying periods, don't need to go through painful child birth and now, even cycling doesn't hurt as much for them! In the olden days, men are the bread winner and had to hunt food and be hunted. But now they no longer need to risk their lives to support their family. And with machinery to do most of the labor, with raise in jobs which only involve mental work, women are equally capable in the outside world as men. Yet, it's unfortunate that the physical inequalities defined by nature remain.

As I was cycling, I saw a squirrel who was crossing the road as me and a car were approaching. It stopped in the middle of the road upon seeing or hearing the car and was debating whether to turn back or finish the crossing. The car saw it and slowed down, the front tire avoided it but the rear tire run it over with the squirrel flying a feet or so into the air - it died instantly. With a snap of a finger, a life is gone. If the squirrel had not decided to cross the road, if the car did not come, if the car did not slow down, then it may have lived. Such are the unpredictable consequences of the conscious and subconscious choices we make in life.

I was also invited to join a cycling club (which was free to join). I actually enjoy cycling by myself now, going at my own pace and choosing to talk to or not talk to other cyclists. If I'm to join a club then I have to talk to everyone. One thing that I'm not fond about America is the general low standard of sense of humor. People laugh at the most trivial thing and they also try hard to be funny. I find this to be quite contrived and it's tiring to fake smiles in order to be polite. I'd much prefer to talk to someone who is classified as boring than to someone who is a try hard. Yet them trying to get me join their club reminds me of when I was super excited in organizing rides myself (but without much success). So I'll probably join this club for some of their Rose Bowl rides after I get back from my holiday.

I finally convinced my mum to let me rent a bike instead of buying one during my time home. If I was to buy a bike, I will also need to get pedals, pumps and maintain it. I only go home about 2 weeks per year so the rest of the year it would be sitting there collecting dust. As well, a year later after I graduate, I'd have money to buy a better bike. Then I'd have in total 3 bikes, 2 with me and 1 at home - this would be quite wasteful and unnecessary. For some reason, my mum has assumed that I'd be just cycling around the neighborhood instead of going to further places, and even so she is going to buy my little brother a mountain bike and has assigned him to protect me when I go out cycling. I couldn't help but lol when I heard this plan but it's very sweet and flattering at the same time :)

Pressure, Ego and Holiday Spirits

I'm a little embarrassed to report that for the past couple of weeks, I've only been to Rose Bowl. And even more so since I've been driving instead of cycling there. The reasons being I'm getting a little lazy in the cold weather as well as the fact that I want to avoid cycling on the road since I want to live till my golden years (still in the bronze stage).

Anyway, I changed my saddle to my new Selle Italia one. At 240g, it's so much lighter and is slim and sleek - aka pro looking. Initially I set the nose pointed too high. Hence it was pretty uncomfortable, or shall I say very uncomfortable. Yesterday I made it level and went for a ride at Rose Bowl. It was much better phew...but I can still feel the pressure. I will play with it a bit more. It would be a shame if the saddle that has saved thousands of women cannot fully save me :(

As I was cycling, 2 cyclists turned into the Bowl and rode to my left. Then a car came and they squeezed in front of me. I was quite annoyed at them for cutting me off and for assuming that I'd be slower than them. I could have told them off, but actions speak louder than words. So I simply effortlessly overtook them, leaving them behind eating my dust :)

It's quite funny when cyclists overtake me and then couldn't keep up with the speed. So I end up slowing down and tailgating them feeling bad to overtake knowing that their ego would be bruised. But most often they are at their optimum pace already, so I had to overtake. And of course, a couple of times they had to prove a point by overtaking me again before quickly leaving the Bowl exhausted - so stupid. I'm thinking that if I'm averaging 20mph now, then I'd be about 25mph if I'm drafting (very rough uneducated guess). Hence, before soon I could join the peloton at Rose Bowl....:D I think that'd at least a year from now.

I'm looking forward to going back home and giving out presents. I'll wrap them up before my flight since I arrive on Christmas day. The wrapping would most likely be battered by the time I arrive but then again, they are all the way from the other side of the world! I love the holiday season and I'm high on holiday spirits now - perhaps more so than I have ever been.

Cycling, More Cycling and My Doubt

Yesterday morning I went for a ride at Rose Bowl. I drove there since I got up pretty late and I didn't want to be squashed in the traffic. After a week of not cycling due to the weather I was pretty happy to get back on the bike. There were tonnes of cyclists there and I was surprised that I was passing everyone. Looking at my speedometer I was doing 17mph on the ascent part whereas before I did 13mph. In total I averaged 20mph without much effort whereas my previous time was 17.5mph. I wonder why?!! I think it's due to a combination of the following

1. My pedal stroke is getting better (I realized that I was ankling before)
2. My new awesome tires with low rolling resistance (they are also super grippy such that they grip up bits of gravel which in turn splatters all over the place including onto my body ahh)
3. I increased my saddle height
4. What can I say? I'm just getting fitter :P

5. I've been working out in the gym the past week

The last time that I went to Rose Bowl I was already aware and was changing my pedal stroke, as well I've already had my new tires. Hence it's not due strongly to reasons 1 or 2. 3 and 4 are continuing in the background. The only difference is thus reason 5. I think the reason that I was able to do GMR on my first ride was because of my gym training. I remember some cyclists were so curious and thought that I have a secret formula - well, the formula is - gym, specifically the elliptical machine. In any case, it's always nice to spice things up a bit, if you just ride then you will always be using the same muscles, whereas if you incorporate other activities then you will strengthen other muscles. And since muscles are interlinked, then strengthening the other muscles will indirectly strengthen and support the muscles used for cycling - it's quite logical :)

Ok, enough blabbing, now that winter is coming in, I will be riding less and most probably do Rose Bowl during weekdays (I'll drive there since I have no intention of competing with rush hour traffic) and maybe the mountains on the weekend if weather is good. I'll also go to Chantry once in awhile to see how I'm progressing. In between, I will be going to my beloved and trustworthy gym.

This morning, I drove up to Glendora and did the GMR-39 loop. I wore my new Campagnolo outfit which looks quite nice :) The ascent was easier than I remembered from last time (around 1 month ago). I bumped into a cyclist whom I met before and we chatted a bit. I'm actually faster than him, it's probably because he doesn't get out often and age is catching up with him. But I really like him, he is very humble, nice and is softly spoken. I think life would have been quite different if I had someone like him for a father...

During the ride, I've been hearing a clicking sound when I'm on the lowest gear. My biggest fear is that my bike may break apart while I'm riding it so I'm pretty paranoid about its maintenance. Hence after the ride, I dropped by my LBS. Everyone there remembers me since I've been there 3 times or so in the past month. They made me look quite stupid because the clicking sound simply comes from the pedal hitting an 'extension cord' (not sure the proper name). I also asked them to help me fix the shifting because it was getting stiff (apparently the derailleur was slightly bent inwards most probably due to my multiple crashes), replace a missing bolt on my rear brakes and exchange the worn out saddle bolt. And all this - for free! It's not really the money (although I'm always short on money) but more the generosity that I'm thankful for.

On a different topic, I should never have doubted whether my mum cares about me or not. She is a very busy mum to my three younger siblings and need to take care of the house and also the business when dad is away. She places a lot of responsibility on herself and overly stresses about things which is bad for her health :( But sometimes I get quite lonely and I focus on myself rather than thinking in other peoples shoes. It's true that my mum can be quite quick tempered and is stubbornly conservative but no one is perfect and she is my mother. When I get home, I will try to take care of things so that my mum can relax and take it easy. I got her some bath bombs (amongst other things) so that she could relax in the spa. And I will try to find some baking recipes for diabetics and bake for my mum since she loves sweet things but can never enjoy them :)

Let's All Feel Superior - by David Brooks (NY Times)

First came the atrocity, then came the vanity. The atrocity is what Jerry Sandusky has been accused of doing at Penn State. The vanity is the outraged reaction of a zillion commentators over the past week, whose indignation is based on the assumption that if they had been in Joe Paterno’s shoes, or assistant coach Mike McQueary’s shoes, they would have behaved better. They would have taken action and stopped any sexual assaults.

Unfortunately, none of us can safely make that assumption. Over the course of history — during the Holocaust, the Rwandan genocide or the street beatings that happen in American neighborhoods — the same pattern has emerged. Many people do not intervene. Very often they see but they don’t see.

Some people simply can’t process the horror in front of them. Some people suffer from what the psychologists call Normalcy Bias. When they find themselves in some unsettling circumstance, they shut down and pretend everything is normal.

Some people suffer from Motivated Blindness; they don’t see what is not in their interest to see. Some people don’t look at the things that make them uncomfortable. In one experiment, people were shown pictures, some of which contained sexual imagery. Machines tracked their eye movements. The people who were uncomfortable with sex never let their eyes dart over to the uncomfortable parts of the pictures.

As Daniel Goleman wrote in his book “Vital Lies, Simple Truths,” “In order to avoid looking, some element of the mind must have known first what the picture contained, so that it knew what to avoid. The mind somehow grasps what is going on and rushes a protective filter into place, thus steering awareness away from what threatens.”

Even in cases where people consciously register some offense, they still often don’t intervene. In research done at Penn State and published in 1999, students were asked if they would make a stink if someone made a sexist remark in their presence. Half said yes. When researchers arranged for that to happen, only 16 percent protested.

In another experiment at a different school, 68 percent of students insisted they would refuse to answer if they were asked offensive questions during a job interview. But none actually objected when asked questions like, “Do you think it is appropriate for women to wear bras to work?”

So many people do nothing while witnessing ongoing crimes, psychologists have a name for it: the Bystander Effect. The more people are around to witness the crime, the less likely they are to intervene.

Online you can find videos of savage beatings, with dozens of people watching blandly. The Kitty Genovese case from the ’60s is mostly apocryphal, but hundreds of other cases are not. A woman was recently murdered at a yoga clothing store in Maryland while employees at the Apple Store next door heard the disturbing noises but did not investigate. Ilan Halimi, a French Jew, was tortured for 24 days by 20 anti-Semitic kidnappers, with the full knowledge of neighbors. Nobody did anything, and Halimi eventually was murdered.

People are really good at self-deception. We attend to the facts we like and suppress the ones we don’t. We inflate our own virtues and predict we will behave more nobly than we actually do. As Max H. Bazerman and Ann E. Tenbrunsel write in their book, “Blind Spots,” “When it comes time to make a decision, our thoughts are dominated by thoughts of how we want to behave; thoughts of how we should behave disappear.”

In centuries past, people built moral systems that acknowledged this weakness. These systems emphasized our sinfulness. They reminded people of the evil within themselves. Life was seen as an inner struggle against the selfish forces inside. These vocabularies made people aware of how their weaknesses manifested themselves and how to exercise discipline over them. These systems gave people categories with which to process savagery and scripts to follow when they confronted it. They helped people make moral judgments and hold people responsible amidst our frailties.

But we’re not Puritans anymore. We live in a society oriented around our inner wonderfulness. So when something atrocious happens, people look for some artificial, outside force that must have caused it — like the culture of college football, or some other favorite bogey. People look for laws that can be changed so it never happens again.

Commentators ruthlessly vilify all involved from the island of their own innocence. Everyone gets to proudly ask: “How could they have let this happen?”

The proper question is: How can we ourselves overcome our natural tendency to evade and self-deceive. That was the proper question after Abu Ghraib, Madoff, the Wall Street follies and a thousand other scandals. But it’s a question this society has a hard time asking because the most seductive evasion is the one that leads us to deny the underside of our own nature.

At least 8 children have lost their innocence, their childhood and if they are not strong-willed, the rest of their lives. Yet nothing was done to stop the perpetrator. Finally it's been investigated and by also punishing these who held back, Penn State is helping to promote a more transparent school and workplace. The two research experiments that Brooks gave in support of his view are hardly relevant, how can 'sexist remarks' and 'offensive questions during a job interview' compare in intensity with the rape of young boys?! What has happened, has happened, and what we can do now is learn from the past and hopefully improve for the future. To suggest that it is in human nature to turn a blind eye is no more than an excuse to help these people to sleep better at night. And to say 'let's all feel superior' because we think that we would have done something about it, is a major and misconstrued generalization. I for one would have intervened and stopped it before it went any further. Yes, I most likely would be scared to take on a man but I can recruit help, yes, I may loose my job but I can find another one (but the children can not find another life). And no, I wouldn't feel the least superior for intervening because it's in my nature to defend a defenseless child, and I'm quite certain that it is in the nature of many fellow human beings. This article should instead be titled 'Sleep pills for bystanders'.

Conferences, Location Choices, Bike Tires and Home

I've been thinking for awhile of going to conferences. Last week I decided that I really need to go to a conference, on the same day I found one and asked for approval and now I'm writing my abstract for my first conference! I'm stoked - I can't wait to go to my first conference and I will see if I can give a talk.

My plan is to also find a conference in Germany, so that I will get a chance to visit the country and decide if I want to stay there. If I choose to move to Germany, then I would have lived in 4 countries, China (9 years), Australia (13 years), USA (5 years) and then Germany (perhaps till the end of time). Life is full of surprises and I can't help but wonder what life would be like 5, 10 or 20 years from now.

I just changed my tires from Schwalbe Lugano to Michelin Krylion Carbon - I know, I know, I most likely put on less than 500miles on my old pair and it's a waste to change so soon. But I already had 3 flats and my tires are SO hard to change. Plus I just can't resist buying (and changing to) these new ones. I'm amazed at how smooth they look, but they do feel grippy and I will test out how they ride soon. When I say that I changed my tires, I should clarify that I tried to change them. I spent 20min removing the old tire and 30min trying to put on the new one to the point where my hands felt pretty bruised. I finally had enough and went to a LBS and gosh, he changed the pair of tires in 20min! But he did admit that they were very tight and we think that it's my wheels which are causing the problem and not the tires. I just know that if I ever get into the racing scene having a flat on my current wheels would equal a loss.

Ahhh I hate the coldness, before I didn't really care and I liked the the rain because it's refreshing but now that I do cycling, it's hard to get out in the cold and I'm never going to ride in the rain. So I've been thinking of getting a trainer for my bike. I'm looking forward to going back home to Perth, where it's warm and sunny and that's perfect for cycling (I may even not be too unhappy about getting tan-lines because I'm aching for some sun). Apparently, there are many nice places for road cycling in Perth. I will rent a road bike since it costs a fortune to ship mine over (such that I may as well buy a new one there)! :)